Bitter Magazine

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"Are you going to write to me in jail?" Girl relpys "Can't i just send you a text instead?"
"....You know, the guy who plays the lead in Being John Malkovich, what's his name?!''...err that'll be John Malkovich then
Bloke driving says to friend 'we're running out of petrol!'...His mate replys..'Dont worry, we're going downhill in a minute'
walking down the road, someone says 'look at that dead seagull'....one silly twat looks up at the sky and says 'where?!'

Girl, Margate and Fiancee get keys to new flat..! :)
Goalie leaves wife and newborn for bit on the side...tut tut!
Golfer...nice hair..What were you thinking!?!
Three "sickies" from Saga having a mooch in Debenhams!Naughty Naughty!
Ooooh Late night rendevouz in Spoons on a Tuesday evening...shame the girlfriend doesnt know..!
" I'm the best thing since sliced bread..check out my boobs, just had them done"..hmm yeah nice shame the rest of your body followed, FATSO, Yeah saw ya grabbing size 16's from New Look.
Teacher,24 talking to ex in Margate (L) on sat night, lucky the girlfriend went to Ramsgate.

Thats your lot for now..don't want to overload your mind to much! If you are foolish enough to do it in Public..then watch this space :)

Cute eh?

Let us know what you think, we will be featuring girls as well as boys.....so get sending those pictures to us!

Being served by people in Tesco who are more interested in having a conversation with the cashier next door about what they're having for dinner, whilst they're serving you....in fact, make that any shop.
Missing a call, then phoning back straight away only to have them not answer....where did you go in that 30 seconds motherfucker?!
Blockbusters not stocking a DVD..YOUR BLOCKBUSTERS...ITS WHAT YOU DO.
LaRoux
Ordering the largest, supersized meal available is not justified by ordering a DIET COKE.."yeah lard arse...that low fat coke is really gonna cancel out that large Whopper you just shoved down your throat"
Primark on a saturday...Definatly heard a 35 year old being called nan...WOW!
Taxi drivers, who think they can just park in the middle of the road, put the hazards on, and it makes it ok.
The new traffic lights/lanes at the hospital......the only people that need to get in the hospital quickly are ambulances...and they have sirens for that.
18yr olds that call escape 'buzz' ......even we were only about 12 when it changed... doubt you were born so stop it. stop it now.
Cliftonville....always the fear of standing on a needle.
The inability to breathe/move in the Dolphin at the weekend
Cramptons happy hour....nice to be served-nope.
The Fast&Furious at Sainsbury's carpark
People that go in the inside lane at Pearce Signs roundabout and cut you up-then swear at you.
People who declare their undying love for boyfriends/girlfriends via their facebook status.

'Anybody threaten my life i'll beat it, with the same hand that i rolex sweep with'

Wednesday 21 October 2009